Friday, December 28, 2012

Just one of those days......

Well I don't like to be the kind of person who seems ungrateful for a full and blessed life but ya know there are just some days that get the best of ya and today is one of those days.

After a week and a half in the hospital, my mom came home today! Related: my mom came home today. And I'm grateful that she is well enough to return home but her demand is just too much sometimes. Most times I can handle it but today was just not a good day from the start. I'm so stressed over my youngest child and her inability to learn everyday things. I don't believe in corporal punishment. I believe in time outs and loss of privileges. But they just don't work on her and I'm lost. I just don't have the kind of patience required for her. I'm not that kind of mom. :( I hate saying that but I'm just not made that way. I want to help her but she just doesn't get it and worse just doesn't seem to care. She smiles and grins when she's in trouble and just continues with the bad behavior anyway. She's obsessed with cutting hair, her own and/or others as well as clothes. She's banned from using scissors at all now. I even had to tell the teacher because she cut her hair and clothes the first time during school. An appointment has been made with the childrens neuro development center so she will be evaluated but today is just one of those days that makes for a difficult day. And my mom coming home and being so demanding just doesn't help. On top of all that we are entertaining my family tomorrow to celebrate Christmas with my mom so I've been preparing for that as well. Cleaning, making pies, grocery shopping, final touches to gifts etc. I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed today and I don't like being cranky. I'm miserable and I want to scream and cry and be angry at the world. At the same time I feel ashamed for complaining. I know some people will read this who would give anything to have their mom to take care of instead of having lost her too soon to some disease or other death and there are 26 families right this very moment grieving for children taken too soon that would give anything to be dealing with a misbehaved child. But I am here now and I'm dealing with these things and unfortunately sometimes these things become overwhelming. And today is just one of those days.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012


Well today was a fabulous day. The kiddos had an awesome day and they loved everything the got. Then Jay made an awesome banana pancake breakfast. Afterwards we went visit mom aka Grammy in the hospital. And we brought her presents and had our own little version of Christmas with her. This afternoon the kids went back to their dads and jay and I went down to my sisters for dinner. Jay got me this awesome Galaxy nexus 7 tablet and an Alex and ani bracelet just to name a couple items. He also got me a really nice heartfelt card which made me tingle. It makes me see how he really feels when he can't seem to put the words together himself. He made this Christmas so special for me and I know I'll never forget this very special day. I WIN !!!!!!! I am so very blessed to have found him and I will never forget that. Now I am going to slip into a nice deep sleep. Hopefully!
Goodnight and I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas.

Monday, December 24, 2012


I know its been much going on. Bazaar was horrible. Sold nothing. Not very many customers and the few were not really interested. :( very disappointing. I worked my butt off to prepare and had about $400 in avon product along with all my crochet pieces. :'(
Lots of crazy happenings at work. Nothing good of course just crappy politics really .
Had to bring my mom to the er by rescue last Tuesday.  She was having increasing didficulty breathing. Turns out she has lots of clusters of blood clots in her lungs. So they admitted her and shes been there on a heperin drip ever since. Doesnt look like she'll be sprung before Christmas. :'( :'( :'(
So its 12:19am on Christmas Eve now. :) and im super excited for Christmas.  This is year is going to be great. I have the love of my life to celebrate it with and my kiddos have finally had a fantastic season. It all started with Thanksgiving.  Which we hosted at our house and had my family here. It was awesome. Then we had the kids picture with Santa and we got our tree and decorated it and jay and I shopped and got the majority of out gifts bought early. Its been great. Jay has been the greatest thing thats ever happened to us. To me. I really am so lucky. I cant wait for him to open his gifts on Christmas morning too. :) im so excited. I feel like a little kid again. He even helped me make Christmas fudge tonight. Well im going to get back to working on this scarf for a very special someone, my niece.  
Merry Christmas!!!!! Im so excited. :)

Btw thats my baby girl all curled up on my foot stool while im crocheting.  :)